Swamped

And other reasons I'm done.

I’m swamped, but I’m also really f*cking tired. Excuse the expletive, but it’s the most apropos considering the way I’m feeling like I’m melted-onto-the-floor-and-dragging-myself-across-the-expanse-in-a-meatsuit-without-bones tired. Though I’m not sure it’s so much tired as it’s beat down, bruised, disheartened and well… frustrated.

I’ve been at this indie author journey for almost 10 years, 8 years full time. I’ve published 17 titles (2 and soon-to-be 3 with a writing partner). And still, I’m struggling to find and connect with readers despite following all the advice and doing all the things. Over the last two months—despite a concentrated effort at marketing and advertising—my sales are slipping to the lowest levels I’ve seen since I started this journey.

Wait. What?

Though I’d love to be a best seller (who wouldn’t), I figured that reality would have me bringing in a steady income stream. Enough, maybe to supplement our household needs. But when I topped out in September at $112.00… yeah . . . what? Like many industries, maybe indie author sales are leveling out in the market and it’s slipping into a valley. But I must admit that considering all the time, the effort, the research, the hard work I’ve put into trying to meet industry standards, it does make me wonder if I’ve gone about this all wrong somehow, maybe took a turn somewhere that led me on a journey that was never going to work.

The reality is, publishing my own work isn’t sustainable this way even if I enjoy it. Putting up thousands of dollars to publish a book because there’s editing and cover art and publicity and waiting for it to maybe break even… someday… isn’t wise. *sigh. And it breaks my heart to think about all the stories I have sitting there waiting . . .

I have three stories under contracts with other professionals in the industry right now. The Cipher of Tolo (CL Walters), The Reluctant Sereph (Maci Aurora), Book 3 in Roan Island series (Maci Aurora) and The Compass of Fractured Memory (CL Walters). These books will be published. But after that… Why put forth the expense? Case in point: my most recent release In the Shadow of an Obsession has only garnered 9 reviews. NINE! And its a damn good book. And The Ring Academy: The Trials of Imogene Sol only has 25! And it’s a freaking good book too. Get this, those numbers are even with all the ARCs and the Street Team, numbers of which far exceeded that. I’m struggling to even get the people who are interested in my work to engage, share and review.

I’m banging my head against a very hard, brick wall and so freaking sad.

All that said, I’m going to have to rethink the approach to my journey. That’s the responsible thing to do even if it’s disappointing (probably mostly for me given the lack of engagement). Stay tuned. Updates will be made through this forum.

So yeah. Thanks for being here (are you here? Since it mostly feels like I’m shouting into the void).

Cami

This book comes out October 24. It’s available for preorder:

The first book in the series is here: